///

End Hit

2009-04-10T02:22:00.002-05:00

make time to watch this sometime. i've seen it countless times. feel weird when i watch it for some reason. i don't really know why. possibly due to the timing of the music and the slow motion shots. i don't know.

favorite album. one of the few albums that move me (including ltbltwcsbnf, logos, and golden traxe). take a listen sometime.

“Intro / Cryptograms / White Ink / Lake Somerset” -15:38
“Providence / Octet / Red Ink” - 15:14
“Spring Hall Convert / Strange Lights / Hazel St. / Tape Hiss Orchid / Heatherwood” - 16:23

[Download] RIPPED FROM VINYL ON APRIL 8TH, 2009

this is my last post (on this blog at least). it's been a good run. it's real nice to see what has happened on a particular day these past two years. my friend changed my password, so i won't be able to get back in. i don't really have much to say; all i really can say is that i've learned that i tend to say a lot of things are weird when in reality they are not. i don't really know why.

and, especially, to every teenage boy in the world: asking a girl out will never make things weird, nor should it. even if she says no.

that's about it i guess.
watch for hidden words in the past.

collin

#266

2009-04-06T00:26:00.003-05:00

What obstructs a journey inward? You thought the tapes would lead you out. Under copper light (the light that failed) demagnetized. Don't forget that he smashed your guitar with friends under influence of video. Don't forget the idols rotting in decayed mansions. "That house is your body and soon will be razed; we need the land for..." Eucalyptus trees line the gates of the plaza. Skeletons hang from the street lamps.

The kids invented "new typography" to find a language that could speak to them. The course was set, no lines were needed. "Finish them off. All in glass bottles (forgotten Delta) Concentrate on ash SEOX, SEUX, SIXT.

A problem of absence / wish fulfillment

I almost asked a few times, when feeling spiteful

"If you hate yourself so much why did you reproduce?"

WHITE INK I

"...there was no sound."
the end of time was: NO SOUND. I had NO FRIENDS I would benefit from no other kids I had no dreams*
there was a time there was a future I was a kid I had a fever (rewind)

In the grocery store with my mom and there were no friends the end of time was

End of time, yeah. No friends.

*amibien - zoldipem tartrate

WHITE INK II

Fossilized / engaged in fanciness / blasted with Citron

All hopefulness recedes. Amber-colored eras: the streets were paved with text. "Bright Worlds" american-express.

Every Mirror Contains a Clue

To the elements contained inside a room

Circle the fortress with glass wings free the prisoners let all bells ring through the first night of spring, they reverberate No Private Space. (nothing to contemplate)

All vapors condensed into an italic fog. Consider a dry stretch of weeds (HWY embankment) lost jewels outside Camden in the media age.

Quick wet textured by youth growth. I was shaped like a comma they made designs on my flesh tiny cylindrical slim kid. Always was asked

Same

:

All I see is a sea of faces smirking at me in the front row and lock into this death-stare with a girl who just stands there like "what the fuck" I'm attempting telepathy. "I don't need you" is all I wanted to say.

All I have to tie my liquid formless spirit to this world is a neighborhood that I have never lived in. Houses lit from within at dusk. I was encrypted - in the flesh, out of the damp red chaos of pre birth fever and wide gas-blue landscape. I was beaten and cursed by angels who forced me to jack them off. I wore a white glove. They laughed at me so I screamed in their faces and the next thing I know...

Providence

Distance music: the sheep and white thorn and black blood gathering at the lips of the wound. I jumped out of the van with a head full of vulgarities I wanted to carve into the skin of the "true prince." I saw the surface of the water from a bridge. I saw the sun refracted through sprinklers and cast-iron gate post. I wore headphones and just kept walking. I found my way to the warehouse by twilight.

/// STREAM

I was the corpse that spiraled out into phantom hallways, and I just wanted to go home when I needed to piss I'd cry all the cars still drive themselves I'm sad all the time even the incense my sweet mom I was so young Bob Dylan record / SY poster I was home when land was still pale and wet before "the horror" (revisited) I was asked to leave and they said I was a disruption.

"Send me home," I said

Pattismithhorses/HYDRACODONE APAP/ Soccer

Health class in a hot trailer. I was asked to leave when I was caught making out with CPR guides.

Whatever I got I took and only a few times and not in passing but with slow calculation and desperate phrasing. I wanted everything to pause and to be left elevated for a moment, then feel the crashing of minutes and chords / PRODUCTION. I wanted to know. I needed something changed. Like wet grass I needed Cyprus, ecstatic, loose.

I KRIED for weeks afterward. Nothing hurt as bad as everything at once. TWIN BED. But one only lived a day and I specifically remember the way that day was cruelly saturated with light and the view of the sunset from the hospital was serious and clear and I felt so bad for my sister and my parents. My neighborhood canceled me after nine signal lights / vacant house up the street still looks the same and smells like joints and software. And the office: windows painted over. Needed constant access to joints between younger lips being sucked. Make the drone eternal (this time) guitars tune themselves on underexposed film. What made that era bearable? Was it Ritalin and collage or eating out on Wednesday nights? Sometimes a map of the truth only leads you downstairs and I'd yell "Amber" over the constant hum of decomposition and fantasize about ghosts from the civil war until I'd hallucinate a grey spectral pulse in the darkness.

If ghosts are lonely they need only to rest among lilac. "Synth Valley" baby's breath and arrange ceramic. These are catalogs of MACRO microcastle green and black spent so much time developing interesting handwriting. Often, sounds overwhelm the songs they were meant to make. "the church is being stripped", Church of the Outcast. It was sad to see them disappear into either. Camouflaging lust and hate as subculture. If I carve its initials into my arm it must be real. This time, at least, nothing ever changed.

Insects: (fireflies)

We discussed how they live to fuck and die. How cute. Joseph Conrad / Solid Oak / Sunday in Garage Afternoon Horror. MADE GIFTS FROM FOAM! When You spraypaint it, it melts oddly SMASHED all my matchbox cars. My cousin inspired this. Listen to Butthole Surfers in this bedroom years and years ago. Years and years ago.

"I tried to be honest but my face would not let me."
- WASPS

EX; Dreamlife of Wasp

Sugar coated the walls like plaque and there was danger in combining ambient music and short walks from the library to abandoned house to read abandoned letters to and from abandoned people. A correspondence that made me think of "Action".

"The days were long..." (repeat infinite times)

Some explosions of light are cuter than others. Kid's faces. Catalyst.

Streaming audio form the databanks / the crystal pulse after sequence of glass blue scale / grayscale. Short what loosened all those threads under the street and encode the skateboards that fall down sewer drains. We climbed down there once and it smelled like fireworks and you squeezed the hands around your neck and looked up with glass holes. These paper and burnt wood

Smell all lacked / evoked at will.

Western Section:

I pulled him out of water and made the smoke and heat ascend.

Don't become creative, enough light already.

Hanging out in lobbies with gum on my post. Spearmint (vector)

Become comfortable with the fact that your body will never fuse with another. Mass Comm. Words are axes and I am oblivious to the fact. Although sedentary, although anything not moving is privileged and there is now life where there was cold shit glued to walls. We hung some posters and ashed on the floor.

He should not be allowed to rolex flair compact. Afternoon thunderstorms often blur the ballpoint tempest. WHITE OUT WHITE OUT template. Of a motion to flight from previously grounded (from winter's mouth) who sold his clothes at fistfight warehouse.

RECENTLY encrypted in the flesh outside the senses. Contained within them.

Constantly blossoming VIDEOROSE // Ink. Solidarity.

City breeding on farmland, a huge roach hidden enclosed by tin shake recorded sounds of insects on dance record* *

Force the Healing Process.

Now is your chance! -

Quit Smoking! Cease Night Sweat!

Sweet night spent still lift sleeps stretched over set.

You are halcyon magnetic.

Sometimes demonic and so Carcrash Sept. (an awkwardness)

"I always fantasized about not showing up."

** B-52's - Wild Plant, Warner Bros. Records, 1980.

"nobody knows the trouble i see"
things that get me through
i won't forget you.

C

2009-03-31T17:40:00.001-05:00

"I really needed the laugh. Thanks."so,

never thought you'd like it was
i just don't care. QUITE AN EXPERIENCE TO LIVE IN FEAR, ISN'T IT? right.

L

2009-03-29T21:47:00.011-05:00

[download][lyrics]

good stuff.

i really don't know how i will last through april.
have any movie recommendations? shocking. i know.

A

2009-03-25T23:29:00.025-05:00

[download][lyrics]

i'm never gonna' know you now but i'm gonna' love you anyhow.
[Mix 14 Download]

(camera stolen by roommate. holy shit i look pissed off. i'm not, heh).

missyou/ god fucking dammit alsdjflaskdfjalsdkfjasdlkfjalfkadslfjasdlfjkls;afjl; how do i express things? where are these buildings. . . .
dsiufhsaifhodsa;fi;oshf;sihf;oashfuizcxgvyuckfyucxzvguyx9ityrew3454rudifnq8curq8934yauifwejherqy89iuahwefjksdt78ohelpsyfuhjv32raiuwefkycjxhiu87tfy
fdhsioachadiishzdjxck. man. fuck people here.

"everybody gets one."

R

2009-03-22T23:05:00.015-05:00

[download]

just got back kind of from break. eh.
moving when school gets out in a month and two weeks or so.
things tend to normally work out if you give it time. i don't really know why.

i don't know what to do.

people and things;

(for pictures, right click → open in new tab);

(life isn't necessarily complete, but it's getting there).

the story to this is that someone was locked out of a room sitting in front of a door at 6am. their friend said they'd come, but didn't until they realized the situation much, much later. they were truly way too fucked up. they've never been more thirsty their life. they've never needed someone by them like that before, or depended on someone for so much before. it was real bad. "the walls seriously felt like they were caving in." so many thoughts running through their head. they didn't want to leave to go to where they normally sleep because they feared that they would get lost. they sent these texts along with multiple calls in an hour.

can't come?
each day i'd spend it with you open the door?
all my time i'd spend it with you it'd be best if you can.
now each day i spend it with me really please. i'm sorry. just tired.
i really don't want to do sleep outside the door. please? i'll pay you
all my time i spend it with me please? i'm sorry to bother you
out here no one can hear me. i'm freaking out. i really am.
out here no one can hear me. where are you? i need you
please? i've never sent this many texts before to someone at once.
seconds seem like hours. i'm sorry.
my phone is about to die. i'm not lying
i really need you now.
why would you do this to me? i trusted you
are you asleep?
i've never done anything mean to you
i'm not trying to be angry or stupid.
can't you call me?
god i sound like a fucking dad i'm sorry.
please?
where are you i'll come to you
you're fucking with my mind

spring break was awesome.
got to see and be with people who are the few people who can actually make me happy; got to see boys noize twice and talk to shadow dancer; drank with the gza from wu tang and the black lips; got in 21+ clubs, and much more.
i can't think of anything else to say right now...
maybe i'll add more stuff later.

edit; yeah.

boys noize playing three songs. he had to make this part quick because the people at the venue said he went over his time. kept going up to him while he was playing. was lame.

I

2009-03-11T00:02:00.007-05:00

[download][lyrics]

http://theophany08.googlepages.com/behappysometimes.mp3 (they don't know;
"people never know")
"people never understand." please understand.

beautiful how wonderful; I woke up in the middle of the night I called out I called out your name patiently patiently, patiently patiently, patiently patiently; I never saw it coming waiting for something for nothing; in the world there’s so many useless bodies so much sorrow please consider all the couples kissing all the children missing all the corpses rotting in the cities spotting the globe; my greatest fear i fantasized; when friends go away for a while they will always come back but now if friends go away for a while and they never come back; help me i can help you.

orchids dissolve,

T

2009-03-04T19:50:00.016-06:00

Phosphorescent - Wolves [d]

HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???????????????????????

"me: oh my god... do you see that?" "see what?" "CANDYOPOLIS!" "OH MY GOD"

"hey man. you don't happen to be the guy that lost his phone?" "me: nah man. sorry." "damn. i'm hoping this guy comes soon, i've been here for an hour now."(him and me sitting...)
...alone waiting for a seat at olive garden.

she looks like a ghost. the ghost the haunts goodwill.
bathroom via camera phone.
sculpting & drawing class via camera phone.
i think i speak for every one when i say "milkshakes rock."
what r2d2 was really saying (episode 2 here):

transcendental transient tacent taction tanti tegminal tremelo tenebrose tersive tttttttttalk

send my regards to those who suffer endlessly send my regards to those who suffer hopelessly

birthday on saturday. want to hang out?

(last year: who commented this?)

Y

2009-03-01T02:11:00.006-06:00

[d]

i have a weird feeling i'll be realizing/learning a lot of stuff this month.

"do you still care"
"why do i still care?"
"who am i talking to?"

particular to what?

2009-02-27T03:00:00.009-06:00

Grizzly Bear - While You Wait For The Others (Live)
[download]

how are things...?

been busy. might not be home not this weekend but the weekend after for birthday i will. then weekend after that for a couple of days for spring break. still deciding if i should this weekend or not. don't really mind the drive. who knows. (edit: yeah going home). anyways, random shit (three taken with camera phone, one of me taken by roommate who attempted to do it secretly -- all ones by phone are taken without actually looking):

i've had these headphones for a while now. was just being bored and looking through youtube. first look take a look at them:

now, check this out:

just noticed this. fucking madness!

march 1st coming up. shiiit.
gdasdfw2

been trying to figure out the lyrics for this song. not completely sure on what is there so far. if you're bored, feel free to help out. one of my favorite deerhunter songs. if you want, listen/write what you think you hear, then highlight everything after the stream to see what i have so far.

Deerhunter - Focus Group [Download]

Trust I will too
I found with you

She said, "You're right" (?)
Without ??? ???

Run away
And I'll run away
Run away
And I'll run away

When I try
I will find a lie
Take away today
??? ??? ??? ???

And I'll run away
And I'll run away
And I'll run away
And I'll run away
With you

#0000FF*

2009-02-23T03:20:00.014-06:00

Erik Satie - Gymnopédies 1-3 (1887)
ripped from a vinyl, hence the fuzzy sound. [download]

where is everyone?

i saw this lady's food get stolen without her realizing it. she ordered before me. her number and my number was called at the same time. someone else grabbed hers. i didn't think much of it until i sat down and started eating. finally looked around and saw her still standing there at least ten minutes later. she has two drinks, but was alone.
she just stood there... waiting. waiting for nothing.

i don't know why but i feel like, i don't know.
probably going insane.
and this video definitely isn't helping...

vinyl rips

2009-02-21T04:49:00.005-06:00

Martha & the Vandellas - Jimmy Mack (1967 Live)

i don't know what to do.
well it's 4:53 as of right now and i just beat mass effect. doesn't that make me fucking awesome? virtually, yes.

random pictures taken recently:

took a picture of my roommate. fire alarm went off right when i took it and got a picture of the light. insaAAAAAane.

this isn't recent really, but around the time of the ice days, my roommate (different than one pictured above) and i decided to get ice cream. i was dancing and it fucking fell. sadface. the cone was awesome though.

hanging birds that won't stop oscillating at a mexican restaurant called Rosa's.

mother and daughter at goodwill. the face expression of the mom is priceless.

birthday in two weeks.
spring break in three weeks.
yesssssssssssssssssssssssss.

iron man gets down.

2009-02-20T01:28:00.009-06:00

who gives a fuck what you think?

basically, my friend asked me if i wanted to go to his homecoming. figured, why not? shits and giggles basically. i found the theme was that people had to dress up from different decades. since i don't give a shit, i put on an iron man mask and danced around for three hours. i had this arm strap thing that could shoot out plastic bullets. it was fucking rad. every one was giving me high fives and whatever. "yeah iron man. go iron man." "oh shit look at iron man. get down go low!" eventually, there was a "best costume competition". i got to the third round and won third place, just for putting on a fucking iron man mask. i lost to "the pimp" and "urkle", mostly because you could tell they had a lot of friends voting for them. i knew no one. in the end, it was fun. lulz reps. have fun.

shots from my friends of my friends on facebook. iron man was tagged in some albums.

i remember the song that was playing had the lyrics "dance like a rock star" or something, so i was playing my guitar to a hip hop song, like a rock star.
comment on facebook image:"this iron man should've been the homecoming king..lol"

"what's your name and what decade are you from, haha?"
"uhhhhh... i'm tony stark, and i'm from the future"
"*laugh* haha, alright. go tony"

sorry for the delay.

2009-02-19T01:15:00.009-06:00

[Download]

6:15 pm feb 17
driving down the highway leaving the city. driving two hours away to pick up a car. 94mph. uncollated clouds. missing you.

drive

2009-02-17T19:46:00.009-06:00

new. . .

person i don't know sitting:
drawing of a face on a pole:

since things as of late have been infinitely shitty i'm just going to post an infinitely shitty music video:

fragments

2009-02-15T21:54:00.003-06:00

what the fuck...

what grows?

2009-02-12T23:57:00.004-06:00

The Monochrome Set - Eine Symphonie Des Grauens [Download] [Lyrics]

i made basically a disney story soccer team for a tournament that was being held on campus. surprisingly enough we held out and made it to the finals. lost in penalty kicks. the guy that missed on my team felt like shit afterwards. poor guy. it's just a game. good job on getting that far! at least we had fun.

my razor broke. it's begun. it totally sucks.

valentines day is lame. i once saw a show where a guy bought his girlfriend a dozen roses and some chocolates, and then she said "oh charles.. how romantic" and they started making out. i hate charles. if he bought me a dozen roses and some chocolates, i'd kick his ass (but i'd eat the chocolates).

i don't hate valentine's day just because i don't have a date (but it doesn't help. i choose though anyways. who cares?). possibly the worst thing about valentine's day are those damned cupids. i see them everywhere. little bastards. they annoy the hell out of me. sometimes i can't sleep at night because stay up thinking about how much i hate cupids. then i realize that it's not cupids that i hate so much, but really mimes. this leads me to the question: if a mime fell in a forest, would it make a sound? if i ever see a mime in a forest, i'm going to trip it to find out.

daddy longlegs

2009-02-12T01:39:00.003-06:00

i'm no fool for you.

i've seen death - i've looked it in the eyes - god has forsaken me - now it's a good time to die - smile together now to sing you a song - but please don't get ahead of me - and soon you'll be gone - burning sensations - reincarnations - come along with me - sunday morning - fearful warnings don't mean that much to me - death is like birth - and then you'll find - a new beginning - lets give it a try - adolescent children - lets hold my hand - the sun shines bright to the promise land - follow me, follow me.

02/08/09 3:14AM

2009-02-08T03:11:00.005-06:00

ambient and instrumental music rocks. i think, sometimes listening to it late at night helps people (or at least me) remember stuff easier. the warm memories that are from decades/years/months before. a little sentimental and cloying, but, aren't we all?
am i saying too much?
i'm finally going to sleep after two days.
i wish my roommate would turn the volume down on his tv.

(((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))

2009-02-07T14:31:00.004-06:00

this is what my favorite song sounds like after two days of not sleeping, not feeling well, being bored, and possibly dizzy.

sounder of tame swine

2009-02-07T03:37:00.007-06:00

there's a cramp, or something, between my thumb and wrist that hurts like no other.

also, fuck bees.

seriously.

next school week is going to blow. tests and essays due every day monday through friday.

good news though:

BOYS NOIZE AT SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST!
(obligatory image for awesomeness)

pretty sure grizzly bear will be there too. as well as explosions in the sky and a lot of other bands.

anyways. random article.

Lim, who is now fluent in six programming languages, first started using a computer when he was two-years-old, discovered programming aged seven, and has since completed more than 20 programming projects.

His latest application, Doodle Kids, allows users to draw pictures using their fingers and then clear the screen by shaking the iPhone.

Pretty impressive, huh? Not to his father!

"Ding Wen is an above average boy with an interest in computers, especially Apple IIGS and Macs, likes to do programming, and that's it. Doodle Kids is an extremely simple program that can be done by anybody. Everybody can program - if Ding Wen can, so can you," he wrote.

Wow, dad, don't be too proud. "Who, Din Wen? Eh, he's nothing special. And just between you and me -- I think he's retarded. Mother's side of course."

duo mixes

2009-02-05T18:04:00.012-06:00

things have been not so great lately. not exactly sure why.
does anyone remember this shitty song? it's pretty shitty.

you know what totally kills me when i'm watching movies now? every time i watch a movie, i always imagine whos point of view i am watching from. you know in star wars where you just watch anikan as his face melts off? am i a wookie that's casually watching a man suffer? or in like, say, 300 or something, i don't know.

am i just some dude who's watching another dude mutilate a shit load of other dudes? am i like, looking through the eyes of the shittiest warrior there is who just stands there and gets in the way?

i don't know!

anyways. to the mixes.

i don't know if anyone has noticed, but this is one of the very few times i have ever named names here. you just have to trust

"Fritos"
Mixed by Collin Decker and Scott Rowe
[Download]
what have i ever done wrong?

(0:00-0:30) Intro [Jam - Collin]
(0:30-2:45) Late of the Pier - Random Flirl [Scott]
(2:45-8:35) Alex Metrix - Pins [Collin]
(8:35-12:30) of Montreal - First Time High (Reconstructionist Remix of "An Eluardian Instance") [Scott]
(12:30-17:20) Animal Collective - Winters Love [Collin]
(17:20-23:46) Dan Deacon - Get Older [Scott]
(23:46-27:37) Bag Raiders - Shooting Stars [Collin]
(27:37-31:20) Muse - Micro Cuts [Scott]

"Thunderboots, Boots of Thunder"
Mixed by Collin Decker and Mason Mohanna
[Download]
if i did hurt, i didn't mean to. that's never my intention

(0:00-2:27) Black Eyes - Deformative [Collin]
(2:27-3:31) Gang Green - Kill a Commie [Mason]
(3:31-4:47) T.S.O.L. - Superficial Love [Collin]
(4:47-5:41) The Circle Jerks - Red Tape [Collin]
(5:41-6:46) Siege - Drop Dead [Mason]
(6:46-9:41) Minutemen - The Glory of Man [Collin]
(9:41-11:50) The Germs - Manimal [Mason]
(11:50-15:17) Slayer - Captor of Sin [Mason]
(15:17-21:49) Megadeth - Holy Wars [Collin]
(21:49-24:01) Gonorrhea Pussy - Vaginal Shotgun Death [Mason]

"Fresh Science"
Mixed by Collin Decker and Aaron Shelton
[Download]
i mean shit, you can at least tell. jesus.

(0:00-4:09) Soft Boys - Insanely Jealous [Collin]
(4:09-8:41) Liars - Let's Not Wrestle Mt. Heart Attack [Aaron]
(8:41-13:31) The Raveonettes - Aly, Walk With Me [Aaron]
(13:31-14:24) Gonzales - Overnight [Collin]
(14:24-17:57) The Knife - Neverland [Aaron]
(17:57-22:25) Bon Iver- Blood Bank [Aaron]
(22:25-28:34) Phosphorescent - Wolves [Aaron]
(28:34-32:07) The Brian Jonestown Massacre - True Love [Collin]

"Electronica Bistro"
Mixed by Collin Decker and Alex Roderer
[Download]
eh. oh well. i guess you are right.

(0:00-0:42) Hot Chip - Shake a Fist [Collin]
(0:42-2:55) Goose - Everybody (Les Petit Pilous Remix) [Collin]
(2:55-7:09) Shadow Dancer - End Hit [Alex]
(7:09-13:34) D.I.M. - Airbus Baby [Alex]
(13:34-18:24) DilemN - Ghetto Town [Alex]
(18:24-21:12) Housemeister / Surkin - In Order To Dance/Ghetto Obsession (original/acappella) [Collin]
(21:12-23:53) PUZIQUe - Thomas [Collin]
(23:52-29:11) Justice - Phantom II (Boys Noize unreleased turbine mix) [Collin]
(29:11-31:56) Boys Noize - Arcade Robot [Collin]
(31:56-37:49) Boys Noize - Shine Shine [Collin]
(37:49-42:53) Boards of Canada - Chinook [Alex]

my only intention is to promote music of what not only i listen to, but other people. some which is lesser known. also to compare music tastes.

cognitive disequilibrium

2009-02-03T14:54:00.007-06:00

(i hate it).

[download]

went to wal-mart recently to buy some food and whatnot. turned into the frozen section and saw this guy just staring at the pizzas. doesn't he look troubled? all i can picture himself saying in his mind is, "shit..."

i've come to realize that i like things and phrases that have to do with light, and i don't know why. transcendental light, golden light, aerius light, etc...

waiting for something for nothing? i hope not.

white out

2009-02-02T12:28:00.017-06:00

[download]
it's hard

where to start?

disguised as pastel rendering

2009-02-01T02:03:00.017-06:00

things as of late...:

it was a bad idea to come home this weekend. the show i was going to got cancelled and there's a leak somewhere in my house. have to turn the water off until we find the source.

oh well though.

i'm not quite sure if you looked at the first picture well enough. that is a yard of gum. i find it fucking insane.

i feel like i'm doing a pretty good job of doing things that i wouldn't normally do. i'd try to explain but i think i confuse a lot of people with my weird way of putting things. come to think of it, it isn't weird at all. i'm not quite sure why i think things are weird when in reality it isn't weird in any shape or form. anyways, i'll explain later. i'll do it before you can say ... "lemon roof bacon" or "waterski ethology" or "maybe collin should shut the fuck up...". i don't know. i'm not certain. i'm not really certain of a lot of things come to think of it. what i am certain of is that i will be finally sleeping in my own bed tonight. bliss!

oh. and if you would like to or know someone that would like to buy a korg r3 (~$500) and/or a roland juno-d synthesizer (~$575) please contact me using my email. can be found on the right. thanks.

--------

2009-01-29T02:16:00.007-06:00

Figurines - Back in the Day [Lyrics][Download]

ez2hide

how is my acting?

--------

2009-01-27T01:48:00.008-06:00

[Download]

picture of a picture of a picture

30 January 2009 - Broken Social Scene (House of Blues, Dallas)*
12 February 2009 - Andrew Bird (Paramount Theatre, Austin)*`
7 March 2009 - Cut Copy / lolInfected Mushroom (Granada Theatre, Dallas / Lizard Lounge, Dallas - I really don't know what I am doing on my birthday; might not go to either)`
14 March 2009 - Andrew Bird / Tokyo Police Club (Cain's Ballroom, Tulsa / Granada Theatre, Dallas)*/`
18 March 2009 - SXSW2009 (Austin)*
22 March 2009 - Andrew Bird (Granada, Dallas)*
10 April 2009 - Morrisey (Palladium Ballroom, Dallas)`
13 April 2009 - The Brian Jonestown Massacre (Granada Theatre, Dallas)*
18 April 2009 - Dan Deacon (The Ft. Worth Modern Museum, Ft. Worth)*
25 April 2009 - Norman Music Festival (Norman)`
4 June 2009 - Animal Collective (Palladium Ballroom, Dallas)*
5 June 2009 - Animal Collective (Stubbs Bar-B-Q, Austin)*

*looking forward to `might not attend

--------

2009-01-26T02:44:00.009-06:00

Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains [Lyrics][Download]

i sincerely miss your company.

please come down from the mountain you have been gone too long.

--------

2009-01-24T03:09:00.008-06:00

Grizzly Bear - Reprise [Lyrics][Download]

my loves another kind. second chances.

what now?... save me.

--------

2009-01-23T00:41:00.001-06:00

i wonder if they care as much?

--------

2009-01-21T22:19:00.005-06:00

alright. i know you can't really see what that is. it is the air conditioner. i live on the first floor of the dorm/apartment/thing and it goes off all the time. it's unreasonably loud. a combination of this and thinking too much while laying in bed attempting to sleep makes some nights horrible. it kills the whole vibe of silence, which i rarely get. it's going off now! one of these days i'm just going to beat it with a bat. until then i can pretend to be a hedonist in reality.
ativan.

here is a picture of me walking on rocks and playing with sticks.

i bought that jacket for $3. what a bargain.

--------

2009-01-20T22:25:00.012-06:00

Atlas Sound - St. Echo [Lyrics: Instrumental]

i have been back at school for a six days now. almost every day last semester i would open the door for a very old man who had hunchback at around 10:30am near the cafeteria, since that is about when i eat. he was slow and sluggish. would take a few steps and just stop for breath as every one else just passed on by. he'd just look at the people passing while resting on his crutch. he always said "thank you" when i opened the door, but very weakly. as if he was in terrible pain. i would some times ask if he would need help but he always said 'no, but i really appreciate that you offered' the same way each time, as if he didn't remember that i'm the same person opening the door each time. i've talked to him once during lunch. he was in a sad situation. had no family and his wife died when he was sixty two. he served in the world war II, like most people his age. he didn't have any kids. he said to wait for things if you like it. i have no fucking clue why he is here. i'm surprised he could walk.

haven't seen him since school started. i am not sure if he really has anyone to talk to or not. i'll be sure to get a picture of him next time i see him.

i know that's kind of depressing.

here are a fews things to even it all out ...

my friend and i go bowling. we are not very good at all. just kind of leeroy jenkins every thing.

i wanted an environment change. went to some punk show. there are some crazy fucking people. i don't know the girl, but her hair is pretty cool. and do you see that guys mohawk to the right? was pretty rad. probably looks retarded when it is down though.

i'd try to decorate this worth words but i can't.

there are a lot more pictures than what i uploaded on here and facebook. i just don't show them all. what fun is that? anyways. you should have seen the size of that burger. 16 oz. i finished it. hardly. i didn't think i would be able to.

this is when i snuck into a church that was being built late at night. i always thought it was haunted or something because it has a eerie look to it. phantom hallways.

--------

2009-01-19T23:30:00.004-06:00

Atlas Sound - Recent Bedroom [Lyrics]

today, was actually a pretty good day. the first this whole school year waaawww.
left the prison walls, took quite the drive and took pictures. a lot of them are just... trees and stuff, but i thought the branches looked like arms. arms of a monster. a yellow one. kind of like this one. okay, maybe not exactly like that. i just thought it looked cool.

here is most of them. i haven't enhanced them or anything. i'll probably put them on facebook or something when i'm not entirely lazy. right click the image and hit 'open in new tab' to enlarge. beware though, they're hueg liek xbox. warned you.

--------

2009-01-18T20:37:00.004-06:00

You Woke Me Up - Andrew Bird
[Lyrics: Instrumental] [Download]

i don't feel well.

--------

2009-01-14T02:08:00.005-06:00

--------

2009-01-09T00:22:00.004-06:00

i like this movie.

all of those moments will be lost in time. like tears, in rain.
time to die.

New Years Day

2009-01-01T00:00:00.016-06:00

Atlas Sound - New Years Day [download][lyrics]

2008 was the most amazing and interesting year i have had.
if i started talking about it i'd probably lose my voice.
i wish everyone reading this a happy new year.

happy birthday to you and the earth i guess.

live it. and still you won't know everything.

12/27/8

2008-12-27T15:09:00.008-06:00

[download][lyrics]

it is better than you think. want to, but best not to ask.

12/13/8

2008-12-13T19:32:00.010-06:00

The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Sound of Confusion (Part 3)
[Download]

i got sick again.
so now i'm just sitting here like a couch potato.
but it's okay; these always seem to cheer me up, heh:

man. don't you wish you had the force now? i did try to use the force (see: grappling hook) to score free french fries at mcdonalds. unfortunately I miscalculated the swing, clocked myself in the head, and tripped over the wet floor sign bleeding. now I know what you're thinking: "damn yo, the force is weak with collin."
sadly, you're correct.

i'm glad that it's break.
want to hang out?

12/11/8

2008-12-11T20:08:00.007-06:00

Kings of Convenience - Know How (feat. Feist)
[Download]

i have two exams tomorrow. decided to take a break the last two hours and chill out. i'd like to say happy birthday to my dad. same image from last year. realized i don't have a lot of pictures of him.

happy birthday~

12/10/8

2008-12-10T15:27:00.008-06:00

this crystal method song is older than jesus.

but they will be playing this weekend and i guess i will go and dance until 4 in the morning to DJ sets that probably aren't going to be that great; unfortunately, it will probably be the best show that will be coming in a couple months or so.

12/9/8; SEM1

2008-12-09T18:48:00.010-06:00

semester one, although not over just quite. too bad i have another one to suffer through.
no particular order. just whatever came up first. there is another row, but it cuts off. right click and hit "open in a new tab" for it.
the good the bad the shitty the exciting the boring the beautiful.

you can learn a lot from taking your chances. you could learn a lot of things really. but if you wanna know the truth, if you wanna know why. then just go up on the roof, and stare at the sky.

12/8/8

2008-12-08T00:31:00.008-06:00

I just wish you had a little faith but I'm learning not to ask.
staying up late again as usual.

been heavily listening to grizzly bear.
it's always really quiet on weekends here. my roommates don't live that far from home. maybe twenty, thirty minutes. i usually have the whole place to myself. the solitude is nice and relaxing sometimes, but most of the time it doesn't feel as amazing as i remember it being, when i was a kid.

it is my dads birthday this thursday. i don't know what to get him.

12/7/8

2008-12-07T04:39:00.006-06:00

i am unhappy but luckily i am good at "hiding it".

2008-12-05T19:57:00.009-06:00

there's so much i want to say but i feel i should just not ask.

Hi-Hats & Top Loops

2008-12-03T23:47:00.011-06:00

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE LAST SWEET FRUIT HELD ON THE HIGHEST LIMB
I LOVE YOU LIKE A TRAMPLED FLOWERS BRUISED FLAME IT LOOSENS MY LIMBS

NOT TODAY.

hitthelink.^

IT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ITS NAME.

Paura

2008-12-02T01:20:00.007-06:00

hello i still feel i am losing it; what the fuck is going to happen?

2008-11-30T12:35:00.006-06:00

is i have no fucking clue what life would be like

if i haven't met certain people heaven

the that i've met. funny how it happened huh. yeah yeah.

and when i say that, i don't mean in oklahoma. noooooo. is

excuse i am getting out of here as soon as possible.

go to california or austin. just

that who knows. decided no on chicago. studio time would be cool but eh.

it's weird not knowing where i will be at all next year. a

your but then again someone said that i'm stressing over that

for nothing. i hope everything works out. scab

are i really do.

right on. away

making right on.

is it good enough for what you are planning

i think i am bad with words someone said i look good but i always thought
and possibly timing. yeah? of myself as like, one of those paintings that look
there is a lot i want to say right now. good from far away but when you get close
but i don't know how to put it i guess. it looks like nothing and shitty, you know?
i actually just don't know what to say right at this moment. am i making any fucking sense?

3

2008-11-23T17:59:00.003-06:00

what is that twitching?

is it still............

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Pills

2008-11-22T03:10:00.014-06:00

you're halfway grown. you got a real good shot. you've got so much inside.
let it come right out.

i am tired of everything.

edit/bonus:
live. show on december first (dallas).

save

Dr. Glass

2008-11-21T02:01:00.023-06:00

people never know

[lyrics]

so, i miss people.
hope to see you thanksgiving break. ("hope")

two random music videos.
well, videos of music. not really, "music videos"...

...yeah, anyways. after the second one, highlight the text to read a comment from me. if you read it before the video it kind of ruins your thoughts of it, somewhat. heh. and you should get a pair of nice headphones if you don't already have good speakers. i noticed it sounds completely different than built-in laptop speakers.

(okay, so, did you think it was kind of weird to have a serious atmosphere in nice, quiet environment of people, then have it suddenly going to some guy opening a door only to find a shower full of dudes? i'm not saying the video was bad or anything, because i liked it, haha. just found it odd.)

so. um...
dre657t8y9ui0-op[ijutye5wadszfxgchjiou789564efwdsfxcghjkio9uyt7fghuyiit67dfx

Don't be scared.

2008-11-19T14:19:00.014-06:00

fuckshitfuckshitfuckfuckshitfuck.whatdididowrong?

so i was surfing and doing barrels through the radical waves of the internet (which i am still trying to quit and failing) and i stumbled upon this bloc party video. reminded me when i went to bloc party last year. (also reminds me that i still need to get a new headband since kele wore it and took it).

hey, guess what? nothing new to say. nothing. ever. ever.
i haven't really been up to anything really. mis~er~a~ble. coughing up clear gel.
been doing a lot of little project, things, to keep the time passing. (lonely).

i was walking around and what not and ran into b.j. novak.

i don't watch the office or know who the hell he is, but apparently the show and him are pretty funny.

that... is all i guess, for now...

[download][lyrics]

edit: oh. december 1st. deerhunter. be there or be ☐.
this video is an hour long. obvious that most of you won't watch it, but it can be used as a sneak preview of the show on the first in dallas.

1 - Bo Diddley Cover 2 - Nothing Ever Happened 3 - Spring Hall Convert 4 - Hazel St. 5 - Wash Off 6 - Fluorescent Grey 7 - Tree Spies 8 - Adorno 9 - Strange Lights 10 - Hazel St. (studio) 11 - Improv Session

i'm always asked how many shows i have been to. seen: andrew bird, animal collective, atlas sound, bloc party, chk chk chk, cold war kids, deerhoof, deerhunter, digitalism, dosh, ghostland observatory, gogol bordello, greg ashley, justice, liars, les savy fav, mates of state, m.i.a., menomena, of montreal, no age, radiohead, stereolab, the mars volta, the sea and cake, tokyo police club. missed black lips and missing danielson tomorrow. need to see boys noize.

that, is all.
bye.. I NEVER SAW IT COMING. WAITING FOR SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.

Spit

2008-11-15T17:31:00.012-06:00

the people here are annoying.

[download][lyrics]

i miss those days. no one can hear me now. vicodin mixed with rice.

Wake Up

2008-11-14T10:27:00.007-06:00

[download]

(if you like justice even a little bit, then i highly recommend listening to the whole thing; song information available in download only. you can find out where here).

out west, they know i'm coming.
don't need to know my name to know how cool i am.
can't you read or tell that i'm losing my patience? i just came here to dance.

Cum Horizon

2008-11-13T15:01:00.008-06:00

i was thinking of you this morning

[download]

alright. the original file size of this song is 10.7MB. i can only upload to 10MB. when i convert the song so it can be under i lose the ID3 tags (the thing that makes it say artist name and song name) hence why it it only says track #1 (the downloadable has the information though). after an hour of trying to figure out how to fix it, i have decided this: fuck it. if you like it then just download it.
now my cereal, it is warm.
nothing new to say.
:(. tear. smoke, pills, water.

Head/Off

2008-11-12T14:30:00.004-06:00

if you're looking for a friend you can kiss my ass

[download]

if you're looking for a friend you can go fuck yourself
i hate daft punk.
but this remix is pretty good.
make it past 1:40.
the holiest of water would have you to drown

Knife

2008-11-11T12:20:00.010-06:00

whatever happens, do the dance.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO DOWNLOAD ANYTHING FROM HERE, DOWNLOAD MIX SIX.
1. Intro 2. Bobak, Jons, Malone - On a Meadow - Lea 3. Young Marble Giants - Salad Days 4. The Smiths - What Difference Does it Make 5. The Brian Jones Massacre - It Girl 6. The Gun Club - Mother of Earth 7. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez - Cotar el Cuello 8. Atlas Sound - New Years Day 9. Deerhunter - Focus Group 10. The Gris Gris - Ray Gun 11. Panda Bear - Track 01 12. Boys Noize - Shine Shine 13. Outro Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?z3mtw3ydmmr

Phantom

2008-11-10T01:11:00.010-06:00

the days at the lake were cold and golden. when one life is over a new one begins

was not seen again.

Stare out your door

2008-11-08T19:17:00.015-06:00

Animal Collective - Leaf House

i come home this weekend only to get sick and sleep all day. god dammit.
i found my animal collective shirt though. woo..

please stay. you can see me, don't go away. i can't see the landscapeplease describe its amaranthine haze.
it's odd where i am. there are people you're not like them. they just look away for rain quenched golden days. my tears quench five feet of lawn. i just creep i cannot yawn. people gonna come and people gonna cry.
Pretty good show. Probably would have enjoyed it more if i didn't feel like total shit. Don't eat taco bueno.i just creep i cannot yawn. people gonna come and people gonna cry. he just woke and ate and dreamt and died. don't try and erase what you have done. i'm going cuckoo cuckoo. we're all going cuckoo cuckoo.

E Lek Tronic

2008-11-06T14:06:00.005-06:00

13 MINUTES OF ELECTRO

EROL ALKAN
spinning ethnic. very different non-traditional dj sound.

I MISS YOU WHATS THE DAY WHATS YOU DOING HOWS EVERYTHING? IT PASSED RIGHT BY ME NOW ITS GONE

Inside

2008-11-04T12:17:00.007-06:00

your newest kisser is peeking you dress yourself up tonight get all tangled up in arms and legs its cramped up and someone grabs a hold do you go ohhhhhh. he'll only be your friend if he can see your breasts

Boys Noize - Shine Shine

and in a house so cozy few words are spoken test the kiss goodnight
Does anyone in here get hit with inside fever?
look we've had similar stiches look we have similar frowns. our cartoon show is broken

Walk / & Hidden Words

2008-11-03T01:27:00.013-06:00

Platts Eyott 3/8 (10 Minutes 41 Seconds)

(i love(?) the lyrics.)
[
never married two kids stick against forkway never married two kids they walk around and joke around talk around be around all the time it's so strange how it breaks so i woke up i mean i've been ripped away from the brick wall brick walls crashing smashing so much radiation so long people so long loneliness walk for miles walk for me winter in my heart never stops]

yes i am alive. lately i have been trying to stay away from this little glowing thing that i am sitting in front of because it is a little storage box that tends to make me more miserable.

contacts. →

and yes. casio calculator watches are cool.
LOOK
Tira Me a las fantasmas.

Aspiration

2008-10-27T12:36:00.009-05:00

↑

[Download] [Lyrics]
i wonder what life would be like if i wasn't here.

Shift

2008-10-25T03:14:00.010-05:00

"hey man. i see you with your ipod. i see you with your mac. i see you with your keyboard. i see you with your cameras. i see you always wearing those headphones man. but i don't see you with anyone. you a gadget freak man. inspector gadget junior. you have everything man, but you got no one to show it to or share it with or talk about it with. why?" - some nigerian, whose few sentences are apparently a rendition of a iron-man quote.

Grizzly Bear - Fix It (Solex's Foxy Remix)

[Download]

my god,
you are far
you are beautiful
in every way

although that's just lyrics, you really are the most beautiful thing i've laid my eyes on.

random note: i can play soccer again now. yay.

Glaze

2008-10-22T12:19:00.004-05:00

The Gris Gris - Winter Weather

rather waste my money,
rather waste my education for you

but you're gone.

it's cold.

oct 23 last year, i was apparently watching a video of pee-wee's playhouse.

Forsook

2008-10-20T00:25:00.007-05:00

all i really do now is look at the pictures on my prison walls.

mix tape 3 (time: 21:49, size: 26mb):
deerhunter, intro/agoraphobia.
animal collective, fickle cycle.
yacht, so post all 'em.
beirut, nantes.
devo, gut feeling.
download: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ntzznqmmcnm .

Milkshake Mayhem

2008-10-18T02:29:00.002-05:00

this. it's alright to be happy.

Patiently

2008-10-15T12:28:00.010-05:00

I Woke Up,
In The Middle Of The Night,
I Called Out,
I Called Your Name,
Patiently, Patiently,
Patiently, Patiently,
Why Do I Dream,
So Often Of,
Their Body Will Decay,
Their Flesh Will Be Fluorescent Grey,
Their Skin Will Be Fluorescent Grey,

BORED AS FUCK.

bored.

This is #200.

i haven't felt this shitty in a while for some reason.

Unhappiness

2008-10-13T20:42:00.008-05:00

When you were just a little kid
You didn't know what to do
When your parents
Were fighting kept you up all night

And then you were a little older
Able to fight for yourself
But when you got your teeth knocked out
By a red brick of clay

Right on, Right on

You were a little strong
But you never knew what you were worth
You always suckle eggs or suck off whatever you could

Right on, Right on

You always woke up first
You always went to bed last
You always woke up first
You always went to bed last

Right on, Right on ...

i miss people.

Difference

2008-10-12T22:10:00.013-05:00

Panda Bear - Bro's (12:30)

[download]

i'm not trying to forget you
i just like to be alone
come and give me the space i need
and you may and you may
and you may and you may and you may
find that we're alright
mean no offense to you
but grow up
can't you just grow up?
when are you going to
give it your own go?
give it your own go
i know i'm being way too hard
but i know that i'm trying
who are you to tell me how
when you've problems of your own

BONUS:
MIX TAPE 2
(SET UP AS ONE SINGLE TRACK)
1. SIMON FINN - VERY CLOSE FRIEND
2. STEREOLAB - COME AND PLAY IN THE MILKY NIGHT
3. ATLAS SOUND - ACTIVATION
4. THE SMITHS - WELL I WONDER
5. FEIST - MY MOON MY MAN (BOYS NOIZE REMIX)
TOTAL TIME: 20:49
FILE SIZE: 24.72 MB
[DOWNLOAD] [ALBUM COVER]

[MIX TAPE ONE INFORMATION & DOWNLOAD]
(DOWNLOADED 112 TIMES)

Cold War

2008-10-09T01:48:00.007-05:00

[download]

to combat prevention
and in combat with yourself
we are in combat with these cultural vampires

BONUS:
MIX TAPE 1
(SET UP AS ONE SINGLE TRACK)
1. DIGITALISM - TAKEN AWAY
2. BLACK FICTION - YOU CAN FIND ME
3. ATLAS SOUND - EROS
4. DEERHUNTER - SPRING HALL CONVERT
TOTAL TIME: 14:47
FILE SIZE: 15.1MB
[DOWNLOAD] [ALBUM COVER]

Mirror

2008-10-07T23:19:00.007-05:00

seriously unable to get my mind off replay. obsessed with someone i don't know.

Omar Rodríguez-López - Se Dice Bisonte, No Bùfalo (7:01)

[download]

[Image]

this is my drug (electro)...:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasd872uwpupaufqur903u0d1

Dedication

2008-10-06T01:18:00.007-05:00

Well, this post isn't about me.
I feel I have to say this: congratulations to kayla and ryan, for it's their fifth year anniversary together. Christ.
Here's a song (which i think works out for this situation), for people like, Kayla.
Enjoy.

Grizzly Bear - He Hit Me

[download]

He hit me
And it felt like a kiss.
He hit me
But it didn't hurt me.

He couldn't stand to hear me say
That i'd been with someone new,
And when i told him i had been untrue

He hit me
And it felt like a kiss.
He hit me
And i knew he loved me.

If he didn't care for me
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me,
And I was glad.

Yes, he hit me
And it felt like a kiss.
He hit me
And I knew I loved him.
And then he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is,
And when he kissed me,
He made me his.

Once again, congratulations, because five years is fucking insane at your age.
(ps. sorry for sneaking a picture, haha). not that i actually care.

Raygun / Myth Takes

2008-10-04T02:14:00.013-05:00

two songs.
one slow, then speeds up... and another upbeat.
psychedelic acoustic & electro rock at its finest.

The Gris Gris - Raygun (8:21)

[download]

Bogart & the Addictives - Superheroes 2007 (The Toxic Avenger Remix) (3:04)

[download]

with being lonely, comes being bored.
these are all products of being bored.
(you'd be amazed on how bored i am).
(click to resize/enlarge; first image looks better, here. blogger constrains... egh.)

85121215, 12151451291451919.

i have, nothing to say right now. besides fuck life

Aux Out

2008-10-01T00:07:00.003-05:00

i have something to say. i have only kept up with this blog lately for one very specific reason, and now, i feel that that reason is gone. i feel i just have hit the ultimate low. i don't know. i really try not to say this kind of stuff on here, because i try to keep this a somewhat professional blog, you know? music... pictures... et cetera. you may think i keep this just for shits and giggles and to show pictures and music and stuff, which is half true, but it isn't the real reason. i'm not going to say this is my last post, or that i'm quitting this blog, because i've said that before and came back for certain reasons. i'm just going to say that it may have some slower times. i don't know. right now, i hate it. there's just, way too much depressing stuff going on lately and i'm really, really, really trying hard to look past it. seriously. you should have seen the extremely introverted me last year. people can change; surprised to see myself type that.

i originally wanted to save this song for a different, better, and much more amazing occasion, but i guess this is an alright time now. this song is called "once upon a time" by sonny sharrock. yes, i'm aware that it's not every ones cup of tea, but i feel it is pretty amazing and epic. imagine the best times you have had; imagine all the people that have had ever affected you; imagine your future; imagine your entire life in fast-forward transposed with fireworks. bliss.

[download]

i am sorry. truly.
i'm actually just going through that cliche state of depression because i have lost the best person ever. people are always like 'move on' and shit, but seriously, she was one of the few that i've actually opened to, and she actually gave me a chance.

saved by old times.

2008-09-28T01:53:00.026-05:00

hi.
i just got back from austin, texas.
civilization at last.
i can't really... explain the experience. (it may not seem like a big deal to you, but it, obviously is to me).
i took a lot of pictures, but these are the only ones i really care about/turned out well.
saw 2/3 of my musical obsessions. (people).
tmv is cryptic. i like that.

also, here are two atlas sound songs. when played one after another, i guess the lyrics are kind of contradicting; depends on how you, look, at... it.

"Cold and Golden"

"Eros"

eight mo. until i'm where i belong?

Operation
Cover Your Ears
You're Not Going to Like What You're Gonna Hear
I Hate You

Operation
You're Not Here
You Can't Love What
You Cant Like, What You Fear

Operation
Cover Your Eyes
I Don't Wanna See You
I Don't Wanna Feel You
(Not) Near Me

Operate
Operation

Oh
How Did You Know
It Was So Easy
To Destroy Me?

Operation
Operate

Deerhunter - Operation

Eros / Logos / 24S8.

2008-09-24T10:24:00.004-05:00

tomorrow is already here.

tarantism.

2008-09-22T19:12:00.008-05:00

[download] [lyrics]
(decided to go with a older song today.)

(olde picture is olde).

one day this chalk outline will circle this city.
ouroboros.

random note: i really wish my fucking internet would work more then 5% of the time.
random note #2: i find it truly amazing how shitty my internet is.
random note #3: i feel i have every right to complain because it's been like this for about three weeks and i'm paying for it.
random note #4: recently found out it was the first day of fall, so, huzzah!
random note #5:
Cdpanda.Blogspot.Com Estimated Worth $146 USD
Daily Pageview : 65
Daily Ads Revenue : $0.2
buy my blog? (www.websiteoutlook.com).

numerical eyes.

2008-09-21T15:41:00.006-05:00

[download]

(TIME: 13:12)

maybe i will break down. maybe i'll try. when will i break down? lately, i might. compass wilting in the wind.

(something good/happy/funny whatever.)

viscera eyes.

2008-09-20T17:38:00.007-05:00

you see the labels listed to the right? well, it's all the same stuff over and over.
so, i'll try to start doing new stuff.
awesome, huh? yes.
this is indietronica duo high places with a song titled "from stardust to sentience". (oh. and, i've said this before, but all past music uploaded that's streamed like the one below may or may not be able to play, since i have to delete some to add more. you will be able to download though. just sayin'.)

[download]

nothing new with me.
as usual.
i've been doing nothing besides trying to find waldo. sometimes he would hide so good! speaking of waldo, here is a video combining where's waldo(?) and the bourne ultimatum.

and, to finish this off i guess here is a random picture i took of this guy that always wears this pseudo raiden hat. i see him everywhere; the only logical explanation is that he actually is raiden. how he got out of the mortal kombat universe is a mystery to me.

ipeelbackallofmyskin. ipeelbackandletitallrun.

st. echo/the light that failed.

2008-09-19T00:59:00.006-05:00

a nice little ambient piece that you should really save for a late night along with a sped up, yet still slow track.
both off the new (and better) atlas sound album.
enjoy..
ask for album..

well i wonder.

2008-09-17T11:59:00.017-05:00

[download] [lyrics]

note: (it has taken me thirty minutes to write this). i currently have no internet due to a supervirus in the networks system. someone (they found him; wonder how he feels...) has crashed the whole server just by looking at and downloading so much porn from five to six months ago and received a virus without taking care of it. it slowly turned into a supervirus and now eats the networks data. no joke. the only way i get internet is if i unplug my ethernet and plug it back it; unfortunately, it only lasts about five seconds. how could someone do such a thing? it's only a matter of time until they create a time machine to fulfill their fantasy of having sex with dinosaurs.

lizard people yo, lizard people.

☹ up on crutches.

2008-09-16T00:43:00.004-05:00

i feel the song title is a good one today, given the circumstances.
"major sprain".
"luckily no fracture".
"damn man. i didn't know it was that bad." "yeah."

lush & terminal.

2008-09-14T22:07:00.009-05:00

staring at the sun.
so much bad luck lately.
- i drove home (four hours) and i go chill with my friend, and his car starts smoking.

"should your car be doing that?"
"i kind of think it makes my car bad ass looking."

next thing we know, car breaks down and we are stuck at some place for two hours.

- weather was being lame, so wasn't able to go to mogwai concert. oh well, there will be more.

- the internet in my room sucks soooooooooooo much it is unbelievable.

- i sprained/broke my ankle from being slide tackled into in soccer. went to the emergency room, but was denied because of my insurance. i don't even remember the last time i have felt this much pain. the awesome feeling of scoring two goals turned into this. woop.

- miserable.

- EDIT: it's two hours later. i have food poisoning. don't eat burger king.
i couldn't move, so my roommates got food for me to be nice. mellow.

whatever.
whatever..

- EDIT: since it seems this is all negative, here's a few positive things: haircut. new music. one more day closer until atlas sound.

don'tyoupretendthatiamnotalive. mybonesneveracheunlesssheisnearby. whereisyourfaceinasafeofdeadtongues? icanseeyourreflectioninyourtotemfirstborn. isuspectthatyou'vebeencarryingapackofwolves. iregretnotkillingyouwhenihadthechance. (iknowihadthechance). maybeiwillalwayshauntyouandmarkthesilencewithtruth. betterhangyourdeadpalacethanhavealivinghometolose,intherivergangesgoddamnsmyname. don'tletthesehandssharpenyoureyes.

✌ Salvo. Blogoversary.

2008-09-12T00:25:00.015-05:00

Yo! Oi Oi Oi.
Well, god damn. It’s this blogs first birthday! Isn’t that cute? I should just totally host a party consisting of all my star wars plushies and I; possibly recreate a super cute version of episode one in my bedroom. Er-; of course it would be a very manly version of star wars. /flexes.

Anyways, it is a very odd feeling that I have been doing this for a year. As cliché as it sounds, it’s been an intense year. I don’t mean that negatively; most life changing year evaaa’.

I can't believe i've been in hell for a month now. Time is unfortunately flying. I really miss a few people. I feel I can't really... relate to anyone here. I feel I don't belong in this area. I just basically need to hold it out for a year. I plan to either head to austin or chicago. both have huge music scenes, and my friend and i have studio time in both cities. we recently met this artist named kem; he has a studio in chicago and is willing to help us out. (video of kem [here]. feel free to check him out).It's funny because, the people I care about probably don't even give a shit about me. Well, to the people I miss: I want to visit you guys. It was a great time and it is lonely here; no times like that since.

(if you haven't noticed yet, i'm posting pictures and music just randomly. this was the first pizza i've ever made. yeah, i'm a little slow on things such as this, but i'm getting on it. it turned out delicious as well.)

My friend and I are making a stop motion video because we are bored as hell. I'm not going to give details because that ruins it; just know that it'll be done in time.

I have Atlas Sound/Stereolab tickets.
I have a plane ticket to Austin.
$275 dollars to get there and back.
I will be there for one night.
Traveling 355 miles there (670 total).
I have a feeling that it will be amazing.
There aren't any good shows here at all. There's absolutely no music scene. You see, this is good and bad. Bad because, well, no shows at all (besides tv on the radio on october 31st). Good because I can literally make my own music scene. As stated before, I will be dj'ing my first small shows here. (Can anyone make masks?)

I don't really know how to explain how I feel living here. It's just banging depression all the time. Don't get me wrong, i'm trying real hard not to be pessimistic, because what I make of this place is what i'm going to get, so i'm trying to make the best of it. but, it's like, it's in a small town and all and I relate to absolutely no one. The girls are fucking annoying, the guys are total douches. I hope this doesn't make me sound like a tool or anything, but I have girls coming to talk to me all the time, and it's like, I can't relate to them, you know? There's no connection. It's like they're stuck in some odd movie script where everything is just handed to you and apparently everyone is supposed to have sex or get drunk, and that's just not my thing. Once again, I miss my friends.

Oh, say hello to the electronica duo, Synvex.

I'm going to get my hair cut short. Somewhat (not really) tired of having (semi) long hair. I think if it'd be neat if I got my hair done like Boys Noize. (I should totally get a unibrow like him too).

Wouldn't that be neat?
Well, in honor of the Blogoversary, I will post basically a pseudo streamed CD.
i hope you enjoy it. (Hoped you enjoyed the songs so far as well.
It has been an alright (the best) year.

I'M A DEEP SEA DIVER, LOSING AIR.(3:12)

"SHIFT" (2:51)

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME NOW SINCE I HAVE SEEN YOU SMILE/I'LL GAMBLE AWAY FRIGHT/I'LL GAMBLE AWAY MY TIME/AND IN A YEAR OR SO, I'LL SLIP INTO THE SEA. (3:52)

HOW DOES THE BLUES SOUND FROM UP THERE? (5:20)

"DEAR CAN." (4:37)

WOKE UP IN A RADIO FREEZE. (4:32)

CRUCIFIED ON A CROSS IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS. (10:14)

DOWNLOAD BLOGOVERSARY 2008 ALBUM.ZIP [37MB]

Number of Posts: 183.
Music Downloads: 4,524
Views: 16,522

peace.

random note: hi...

operation.

2008-09-04T01:40:00.013-05:00

oi oi oi.
what's up?
i'm very sleepy right now.
miserable here.
i've met one person that i would actually consider hanging out with; all i really need right now.
a lot of random walking adventures.

some tracks for you:

OPERATION, COVER YOUR EARS
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR

COME TO ME, COME FOR ME, COMFORT ME.

[Download]

DID I CATER TO ALL YOUR NEEDS?

&RAP MEETS ELECTRO.

oh..
and due to popular demand..:was never really big on showing the face (click to resize to 3008x2000; refresh if isn't working).

&, eight days until this blogs anniversary. (blogoversary?).
see you then.

☃ a mongrel of infinite melancholy.

2008-09-03T00:22:00.005-05:00

don't you forget that i am alive.
you have swayed with a pack a strays.
unfortunately i'm waiting for a signal or sound.

new digitalism.

not going home now. not going back.

random: are the new colors easier on the eyes?
past blog posts/music = "blog archive" to the right.

[Download]

all things black.

2008-08-30T22:02:00.009-05:00

IMPORTANT:
WHO CAN MAKE MASKS?
I WILL BE DJ'ING MY FIRST SHOWS (NOTHING BIG; JUST SMALL SHIT AROUND HERE. GOODBYE RAP) AND I WANT TO HAVE A PSEUDO TOXIC AVENGER THING GOING ON. BASICALLY BE A FREAK ON PAPER.

if you are able to, email me at bluesteel1202@yahoo.com or facebook message me. THaNK YOu.

the name of the blog post refers to the music that will be streamed. speaking of streamed music... you see, googlepages has stopped people from being able to sign-up, due to them transferring to the new googlesites page. i will no longer be able to stream new music until i either buy my own web page or find another site that lets me host music that's quicktime compatible (i.e. geocities, but they're being lame right now). i will be deleting older streamed music for future posts; those players will have broken links. you will still be able to download the music, just unable to stream them.

BLACK FICTION [INDIE]

[Download]

BLACK EYES [PUNK]

[Download]

BLACK ANGELS [PSYCHEDELIC]

[Download]

BLACK LIPS ["FLOWER PUNK"]

[Download]

"BLACK GLOVES" GOOSE [ELECTRO ROCK]

[Download]

peace..

don't go away.

2008-08-30T17:25:00.006-05:00

PUZIQUe electronica/club. (BNR*)

ironhead.

2008-08-29T23:48:00.012-05:00

alright, so, get this. i bought this ironhead mask from wal-mart in honor of tropic thunders viral video. you see, robert downey jr has the same one. turns out: it's freaky as shit. personally, the hood doesn't help. you know what's cooler than hooded rapist ironman? pirate ironman. especially when you're riding on a rollercoaster, chillin' on a beach, or being educated by a school of fishes (HAHA GET IT?!?!) as seen here:

as you can see, i'm bored as fuck. that's one of the reasons why i'm pumping out these blog posts daily. i hardly know anyone here. i walk around a lot. i don't like just sitting in my apartment, because that's gay. a lot of people know who i am; a lot of aquintances. random head nods upwards and hand shakes.

the soccer team here is intense. i think i'm the only non-nigerian on the team. it's pretty sweet.

isn't the new music player awesome? personally, i feel it's so much better than that ghetto quicktime player; besides, that quicktime player didn't work for half of the people that came here to listen to music.

speaking of music, since i have nothing really to say right now, might as well start.

hm. lets see, do you want to:

CHILL THE FUCK OUT?

[Download]

RELAX WITH INDIE?

[Download]

ROCK TO PSYCHEDELIC?

[Download]

OR DANCE?

[Download]

you decide.
peace.

one finger symphony.

2008-08-28T17:30:00.010-05:00

the first picture... my friend and i opened a bible that was at a coffee shop near an asian market. when we opened it, there was a paper from 1971 that says:

"Question: How many letters or characters are in the Hebrew bible?
(I can get answer later if need be)"

who is this guy talking to? i don't know if this paper, was for like, someone else or himself; why does it begin with "question"? obviously it's a question... is he trying to learn hebrew? why does he reassure himself that he can look up the answer later? i find it completely weird. apparently no one opened the bible after thirty-seven years, and the people that did just did it as a joke. that paper is probably still there.

anyways. as you can see, there's a new blog layout. woo. background, font, media player, the whole thing! kind of. i also added labels at the end of posts for music purposes. take my last post for example; go to the bottom, after comments, and see that there's a "boys noize" and "deerhunter" label, corresponding for the streamed music that post. you can either click on those labels to listen/download more music, or go to the top left of the screen where the search bar is and type a band and hope it's there.

i added the labels because this is ever so slowly turning into a music blog. as of now, labels consist of (don't bother clicking on the links, i cheated. only work for me to edit labels. just a reference):

i'm not saying that all the songs are streamed. they're either downloadable or streamed.

oh. and as you can see there's now a "friends" section. do you have a blog? if so, tell and i'll add you. yay.

i don't really have anything to say right now.
college can be quite lonely, though. oh well. i don't know if i should drive to plano for the weekend or not yet..
erm.. musik... you can:

SIT BACK, CHILL, RELAX

BOB YOUR HEAD A LITTLE

OR MOVE LEG TO THE BEAT AND DANCE

peace.

i'm not trying to forget you.

2008-08-27T16:09:00.021-05:00

i haven't said much.
sorry.

to get to past posts/music for this month, go to the right and click "august"..
naturally, click on image to resize, yadda yadda..
new media player..
woo..

"why do you listen to this? what's so great about dancing?"
how the fuck should i know? you know i can hardly understand it.

2008-08-26T23:03:00.006-05:00

2008-08-25T22:40:00.003-05:00

2008-08-24T23:37:00.011-05:00

2008-08-20T00:57:00.003-05:00

2008-08-17T17:16:00.002-05:00

bon voyage, for now.

2008-07-29T00:32:00.005-05:00

so it is currently 12:32a.m. and i have been woken up.

i originally started this in september so i could basically look back at my life and see how wonderful (?) everything was. not every one can just look and see what has happened on a certain day by a move of a mouse and a click of a button. as i look back, i don't particularly have any regrets; senior year was alright. by far the most life changing high school year. (repeat, by far). this blog has had a great run; this has been a freaky/creepy(don't hit me, i bruise easily)/crazy year that i will always remember (what a cliché, overused phrase...).

testing, testing. one-two-three.

hello? is this thing on?

this is the last time i will be posting something on here for quite some time. right now i currently feel like i need to reorganize my life; although this blog never interfered with that task, i would like my next post to be about something great.

thank you to everyone that has helped me out. this blog is sleeping now.

p.s. thank you for all the views (10,643 for 170 posts) and music downloads (2,958).

things i'm looking forward to:

2008-07-26T23:44:00.012-05:00

1. tropic thunder.2. atlas sound opening for stereolab on 9/24 in austin, tx at la zona rosa.

3. hanging out with a certain two people.
4. payday this friday.
5. someone to come back to TEXAS.
6. music.
7. seeing alexa. (i named a name. oops).

[d]

meeting on a train.

2008-07-22T18:36:00.008-05:00

hello?
damn.
i am currently nine-thousand (9,000) feet in the air; only a short time until i crash and burn.
can y o u hear ME?

is it climbing up to the moon, or bailing out too soon?

[d]